Radar in the darkness. The dreams and art of a psychotherapist in a forensic institution

Under the assault of disturbing experiences that seem sealed into a bodily discourse, there appears an increased permeability between the dream space and the psychotherapy space. It is in the forensic in-patient hospital environment that I have commonly sat with a calm and compliant patient to find myself grappling with an overwhelming pull toward sleep. Such tiredness in countertransference can be understood as a manifestation of the weight of buried or repressed disturbance which can only seemingly be registered at a bodily level. Forensic patients are usually the subject of vilification from the courtrooms to sensationalist media reports in a system that further bottlenecks their emotional lives. It seems to me that sometimes there can be a fine line between continuing the trend of condemnation and the taking up of clinical responsibility. It is perhaps one of the most helpful aspects of psychoanalytic work, that we consider the projective processes involved in the criminal justice system. That we look to ourselves and our own countertransference for greater clinical clarity, a radar in the darkness. It is with this in mind that I write an introspective paper focussing on the lens of my own dream life and artistic responses to the environment of a forensic institution.