Between Butes and the digital player: paradoxes of Eros

Abstract This article questions the meaning of Eros in sexual desire and education by comparing the Greek mythological figure Butes—who, enchanted by the Sirens’ song, throws himself into the sea despite the risk of death—with today’s narcissistic ‘digital players’, who, through dating apps, AI, or virtual reality, exchange only pleasure while avoiding negativity. First, it examines Pascal Quignard’s Boutès (2008), contrasting Butes with both Orpheus, who neutralizes the Sirens’ song with his own music, and Odysseus, who is bound to the mast to resist the Sirens’ seduction. Through Anne Carson’s Eros the Bittersweet (1986), the article also emphasizes the paradoxical nature of Eros, which inherently involves madness and suffering: it critiques today’s tendency towards convenient love that seeks only controlled, safe thrills with risk-free desire. Furthermore, drawing on Plato’s Symposium and Phaedrus, this article develops Carson’s idea of Eros as the ‘desire to know the unknown’, highlighting the similarities between Eros and knowing, the lover and the thinker. It argues that when the narcissistic self opens itself to the longing for love and wisdom, it paradoxically gains a deeper understanding of itself, in an ongoing process of learning. In this sense, the article advocates philosophy that encourages individuals to grow by moving beyond the comfort of pleasure-satisfaction, embracing negativity, and casting themselves into desire for the unknown.