Men Seek Social Standing, Women Seek Companionship

Do men base their self-worth on relationships less than do women? In an assessment of lay beliefs, men and women alike indicated that men are less reliant on relationships as a source of self-worth than are women (Study 1). Yet relationships may make a different important contribution to the self-esteem of men. Men reported basing their self-esteem on their own relationship status (whether or not they were in a relationship) more than did women, and this link was statistically mediated by the perceived importance of relationships as a source of social standing (Studies 1 and 2). Finally, when relationship status was threatened, men displayed increased social-standing concerns, whereas women displayed increased interdependence concerns (Study 3). Together, these findings demonstrate that both men and women rely on relationships for self-worth, but that they derive self-esteem from relationships in different ways.