Losses and wins

An abrupt call to the ER—a child getting CPR A fleeting thought getting ready, "that's not going to be good" Supplies at hand, staff prepped, prepared for the worst The rhythmic metronome of compressions amongst a flurry of movement Cycle after cycle, epi after epi As time ticks on, inching closer to a loss But finally, miraculously, a spontaneous heart beat! The mood lifts, tensions ease An unexpected win, the best we could ask for in the resuscitation bay Right? The child is not fighting the ventilator despite no sedation Pupils are not reacting Profound global hypoxic injury on the CT scan Is it still a win? A loss masquerading as a win? We did our best but it wasn't enough Getting worse and worse, no improvement the next day Brain death—an immense loss And yet, with extra time came extra goodbyes from family A time for more peaceful memories at the end And with extra time, an opportunity for the ability to gift life A family's wish for organ donation A way to honor death and a life that will be dearly missed The ultimate gift for numerous families An undeniable win amidst an incredible loss Is there ever a true loss or a true win? Disappointments punctuate times of relief and satisfaction Patients' emotions will inevitably color our own The losses experienced by a patient will partly become part of us But also we rejoice in the wins alongside our patients This is the beautiful aspect of our profession— The magnificent spectrum of highs and lows we encounter The triumphs that sustain our careers and the defeats that are imprinted on our hearts The authors declare no conflicts of interest.