Partner Buffering of Attachment Insecurity

Insecurely attached people have less happy, unstable romantic relationships, but the quality of their relationships should depend on how their partners regulate them. Some partners find ways to buffer (emotionally and behaviorally regulate) insecurely attached individuals, which makes them feel better, behave more constructively, and improves their relationships. Understanding when and how this important interpersonal process works requires a dyad-centered approach. In this article, we describe core tenets of attachment theory and the two forms of attachment insecurity (anxiety and avoidance). We then present the Dyadic Regulation Model of Insecurity Buffering, which explains how and why certain types of buffering behaviors soothe the worries and improve the relationship perceptions and behaviors of anxious or avoidant people. We next review studies of couples trying to resolve major conflicts that illustrate some ways in which partners can successfully buffer the insecure reactions of anxious and avoidant individuals. We conclude by discussing other traits and social contexts to which our model can be applied.