Teaching, research, and everything in between: An autoethnographic account of academic identity

Abstract This analytic autoethnography offers a critical and personal reflection on two decades (2005–2025) of academic life at a South African university. Framed within South Africa's shifting higher education landscape, the study explores academic identity formation through eight thematic lenses: from early experiences as an unprepared lecturer to the challenges and rewards of research, postgraduate supervision, pedagogic innovation, academic citizenship, and institutional service. Despite the increasing demand for excellence across teaching, research and service, the narrative reveals a persistent lack of formal preparation and mentoring for new academics, highlighting a systemic oversight in academic development. However, alongside these structural challenges, the account affirms the deeply fulfilling nature of academic work when driven by curiosity, care and purpose. Alternating between cycles of self‐doubt and confidence, fatigue and renewal, the role of the lecturer‐researcher emerges as both intellectually rigorous and emotionally resonant. By drawing on the author's lived experience, supported by theoretical frameworks on professional development, emotional labour, and transformative learning, the article contributes to a growing body of scholarship that rehumanises academic life. It calls for greater institutional recognition of academic work's emotional and relational dimensions while affirming the value of narrative inquiry in understanding and sustaining academic passion. Context and implications Rationale for this study: Academics are often expected to take on complex teaching, supervision, and service responsibilities with little formal preparation or mentoring. This autoethnography responds to that gap by offering a situated, two‐decade account of academic identity development in South African higher education, where institutional transformation intersects with personal and professional growth. Why the new findings matter: By tracing turning points such as imposter syndrome, doctoral failure, supervision challenges, and quiet leadership, the study highlights how identity is shaped not only by outputs but also by emotional labour, boundary‐setting, and relational practices. It demonstrates that autoethnography is more than a research method; it can also serve as a developmental tool that makes visible the hidden dimensions of academic life and provides others with a lens through which to interpret their own journeys. Implications for policy makers, practitioners, and researchers: The findings carry implications for multiple audiences. For practitioners, the narrative underscores the importance of reflection, mentorship, and boundary‐setting as strategies to sustain passion and prevent burnout, showing that quiet, non‐positional leadership and care work are as vital as teaching and research. For researchers, the study demonstrates how autoethnography can be used rigorously to interrogate academic identity, integrate personal and institutional dimensions, and contribute to scholarly conversations about higher education transformation. For policy makers and institutions, the account highlights the need for structured academic development that recognises emotional and service labour, values academic citizenship, and fosters inclusive cultures. Investing in reflective and supportive professional development can help universities retain and empower their staff.