Helping Adults Mourn the Death of a Child

When a child dies, the circle of adults who are affected in some way is indeed large. Although parents are the adults most centrally affected, grandparents, other relatives, church members, neighbors and professional caregivers all can be profoundly influenced by the loss. All of these adults can experience a variety of emotional and behavioral symptoms commonly called grief. The intensity and duration of the grief response depends on many variables including the specific relationship of the adult to the child, past experiences with death, and the personality of the adult. The grief process for parents and close relatives may last for several years. Although professional grief is generally of shorter duration and less intensity, repeated experiences with child death can eventually lead to a major grief response in the caregivers. For all grievers left behind when a child dies, the most significant human need is caring, that is, human contact with at least one other person who shows understanding and patience. Sheldon Kopp has summarized this need succinctly when he said “We have only ourselves and one another. That may not be much but that's all there is” (46).