Loneliness among the Never and Formerly Married: The Importance of Supportive Friendships and a Desire for Independence

Loneliness is an experience that is commonly associated with being old and without a partner. Results from a Dutch sample involving 131 unpartnered men and women between the ages of 65 and 75 indicate that the absence of friendship support rather than being single is an important determinant of loneliness. In accordance with the theory of mental incongruity, relationship standards and perceived opportunities of improving relationships are also shown to be significantly associated with loneliness. Older men and women without a partner are most vulnerable to loneliness when they have a high partner standard or a low singlehood standard, and see few opportunities to change their situation (for example, as a result of experienced health restrictions). A better understanding of loneliness is obtained if not only the quality of relationships is considered, but also the degree of congruity between relationships and relationship standards, and the favorability of perceived opportunities for bringing about improvements.