Modelling Control in Relationships

An understanding of the processes that occur during dating can help us build a general theory about intimate relationships. In building a general theory, we need to first examine those processes that social scientists have seen as critical in understanding interaction in close relationships. Among the important processes that have been examined are commitment (Kelley, 1983), love (Hendrick White, 1959), to be masters of their own fate (deCharms, 1979), and to control the events in their lives (Burger, 1992). Cumulative successful experiences of controlling the environment lead to a feeling of efficacy (Bandura, 1986) or mastery (Pearlin, Menaghan, Lieberman, Goffman, 1959; Mead, 1934; McCall & Simmons, 1978). Control in interaction is also reciprocal (Sites, 1975). Thus, no person is without control capability, although there is variation in individuals' intent to use that control, and there is variation in access to resources that may make an individual capable of controlling. The control I examine here, however, is different from the typical control found in everyday interaction. …