The theory of resilience and relational load

Abstract Resilience is one of the most profound constructs across disciplines. Yet, the largely atheoretical nature of the research on resilience continues to make it elusive. A new theory of stress and resilience in close relationships—the theory of resilience and relational load ( TRRL )—is advanced to fill this void in the literature. The theory bridges communicative, perceptual, and physiological aspects of stress within the context of social relationships to explain personal/relational risk, resilience, and thriving. The TRRL examines how relational partners' and family members' communal orientation and maintenance of their relationships on a daily basis influence their communication during stressful moments, as well as their appraisals of the stress. The theory also details how these communication patterns and appraisals influence personal and relational health and adaptation. Finally, the concept of relational load is set forth, which is the wear and tear that chronic stress and depletion of one's emotional, psychological, and relational resources through repeated, stress‐related conversations can have on relationships. Ultimately, people need to continually invest in their relationships to prevent relational load and foster resilience and possible thriving.