Men Under the Microscope: The Gaze of Other Men, “The Subject Who Is Supposed to Know,” and the Pursuit of Wholeness

Abstract: While numerous Men and Masculinities scholars discuss how men “perform” or seek to “prove” their masculinity to other men, a psychoanalytic investigation into the structural relations of this dynamic—especially with regard to young American high school- and college-age men—is needed. Using Peggy Orenstein’s Boys and Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity (2020) as a source text, I draw on the Lacanian concept of “the subject who is supposed to know” to elucidate the homosocial nature of masculinity. A Lacanian reading of Boys and Sex suggests that American high school and college men’s desires are incited by the ostensible enjoyment, or jouissance, they witness other men experiencing when engaging in “masculine” behaviors. Orenstein’s adolescent and young-adult interviewees demonstrate how “what one wants” is inextricably bound with what one sees (or interprets) other men wanting. While Men and Masculinities scholars argue that performances of masculinity are enacted to avoid ostracism and humiliation, a Lacanian account centers on the psychic pursuit of (illusory) wholeness. Lastly, Lacan’s notion of “traversing the fantasy” offers a path toward reclaiming agency despite the sway of cultural ideals and the gaze of Others.