Family Estrangement and the Unseen Work of Not Doing Family

Family estrangement is a common yet understudied phenomenon, especially in the sociology of family and personal life. In societies where norms about ‘the family’ have moved on considerably to include non-biological kinship, blended families, chosen families and so on, an emphasis on close bonds and family rituals is often resilient creating stigma for those who are distant from family. In this article, I offer a sociological analysis of experiences of family estrangement reported via a qualitative survey, and explore three of the family practices involved in maintaining these ‘absent present’ relationships. This research contributes to and extends literature on family practices, family display and the notion of doing family, by looking at the family practices that are kept off display and the often unseen work that goes into not doing family. In doing so, it speaks to a growing interest in the constitutive role of absent, silenced or hidden aspects of social life, and attending questions about the impacts of such omissions.