Systems intelligence and families

Abstract In a world of increasing complexity, I propose that the concept of emotional intelligence is limited for understanding how people manage their family relationships and interactions with community systems. I review the background of the emotional intelligence concept and point out its limitations for dealing with multilateral relationships. I define systems intelligence as the capacity to effectively interact in multilateral relationships, including families, work groups, and social institutions. Systems intelligence encompasses the understanding of interpersonal systems, and the practical ability to act constructively in those systems. I also make a distinction between competency in dyadic relationships (relational intelligence) and competency in multilateral relationships (systems intelligence), and I illustrate systems intelligence with respect to stepfamilies and families' relationships with health‐care professionals. A principal implication for the family field is to move beyond a focus on dyads (parent/child and couple) to include multilateral relationships that are intrinsic to family life.