Of Loss, Love, and Lasting Friendships

Erin: “When I started writing this piece, my grandmother had just passed away. It was sudden, unexpected, and heartbreaking. These tragic events never happen at a ‘good time’ and I recognize that grief can magnify other splinters in our lives, but … I was feeling especially behind in work. In particular, I was feeling overwhelmed launching the 2024 call for applications for the L https://www.aslo.org/aslo-publications/loletters-early-career-publication-honor/). Enter Rita, my collaborator and mentor in ASLO, and my friend. We had met the year before, while Rita was finishing her second and final year in the Raelyn Cole Editorial Fellowship (RCEF; https://www.aslo.org/opportunities-in-aslo/raelyn-cole-editorial-fellowship/) and I was starting my first year. Although Rita had recently completed her tenure in the RCEF program, in the days after my grandmother passed away she took charge of the ECPH, giving me time while I was at home grieving with my family.” Rita: “Like many aquatic scientists from the Global South, I left my country early in my career to pursue opportunities abroad. Always moving cities and countries after 1–3 years (when a position ended), I noticed that it can be difficult to establish meaningful relationships, and sometimes you need a little luck. I met Erin when I was in dire need of a friend in both my personal and professional lives. In Brazilian Portuguese we'd say that ‘our saints aligned’ (nosso santo bateu), which means that we got along well, and that was the beginning of a treasured friendship. I had myself lost both my grandfathers in the five months preceding Erin's grandmother's passing, so I hurt for her and with her, and couldn't have imagined doing anything else to help other than relieving her of whatever burden I could. We also shared memories and treasured items we inherited and included in our daily lives and, in that way, kept our loved ones alive in our hearts.” In a recent piece about scientists who marry other scientists, Marx (2024) briefly tells the story of a few couples whose lives (and research) have been enriched for having a like-minded partner (see also the Acknowledgments and the section before the References in Wiltshire and Boersma 2016). One of these scientists states the obvious—that science is too hard to do alone—but breaks away from competitive tendencies in academia to also say that engaging with the right people and setting ego aside can allow one to learn and grow as a scientist. This partnership is what brings joy and progress to their work. Researchers need to have a social network in which they feel comfortable to ask seemingly obvious or basic questions and to fail, without fear of reproach or shaming. Marx and one of the interviewees note that friends can also be partners; this position is not reserved to spouses; (…) “a life in science is infinitely richer if oriented around, connecting with—and staying connected to—the right thought partners.” Our friendship grew exponentially during our overlapping year as Editorial Fellows, and we kept finding projects that would require that we spend time talking to one another. Consistent and spontaneous interactions about a suite of topics further cemented our friendship: we met twice a month during the RCEF with ASLO Editors and the Wiley publishing team; saw each other (and held events together) during ASLO conferences; had impromptu conversations about the future of scientific publishing and about sharing what we Fellows learn with our peers (e.g., Franco-Santos et al. 2023, 2024); engaged with ASLO and Wiley teams on intense discussions about Open Access publishing and the future of ASLO journals during the Wiley Strategy Day; conducted an ASLO-wide survey on how our members interpret and experience Open Access publishing; and so much more. We also talked a lot about our science—Erin is a salt marsh queen and Rita currently investigates potential carbon sequestration from kelp forests, so we share a curiosity for coastal systems, carbon cycling, and tracers for environmental processes (e.g., stable isotopes and fatty acids). Our friendship continued even after our Fellowships ended. We constantly discuss potential projects to connect us and to enable comparisons between current and emerging blue carbon ecosystems in the United States and Australia (where we reside). When Rita finished her RCEF tenure, incoming Fellow Frank Akamagwuna asked what she prized most about the program, to which she replied the people that the experience had brought her (Fig. 1). At every ASLO meeting, we see lasting friendship demonstrations from our longer-serving members to one another. Those begin at some point, usually through service—we can attest to it. This piece also serves as a loving friendship letter from Erin to Rita, from Rita to Erin, and from us to you (Fig. 2). We invite you to join the ASLO community and see for yourself. As the Brazilian saying goes, “ASLO is like a mother's heart; we can always fit one more person” (A ASLO é que nem coração de mãe, sempre cabe mais um). We thank our grandparents, whose influence helped shape who we are today. We also thank Dale and Ross Cole and ASLO for generously supporting the Raelyn Cole Editorial Fellowship, during which we met and became friends. Lastly, we thank the scientific friends and mentors we've made along the way, whose lovely faces we rejoice in seeing whenever we have a chance to meet. RMF-S is a current Member-at-Large in the ASLO Board of Directors.