Memories of forgiven wrongs: the role of interpersonal closeness and severity when remembering forgiven transgressions

Although forgiveness can help overcome negative emotions and restore social relationships, the mnemonic mechanisms involved remain poorly understood. Recent evidence supports the emotional fading account, which posits that emotional responses associated with the retrieval of autobiographical memories of forgiven wrongdoings decrease relative to not-forgiven ones, while there is no difference in episodic details. We examined how interpersonal closeness between victim and perpetrator and the severity of the wrongdoing influence the recollective experience of forgiven versus not-forgiven events, and the interpersonal motivations toward the perpetrator. Across two studies (N = 1,007), participants recalled forgiven wrongs as less negative and emotionally intense than not-forgiven ones, regardless of closeness or severity. However, there were no differences in episodic detail or in the remembered emotion at the time of the event. We also found that forgiveness was related to interpersonal motivations, such as avoidance and benevolence, more strongly in close relationships and in response to high-severity wrongdoings. These findings extend prior work by showing that, compared to not-forgiven wrongs, forgiven wrongs elicit attenuated affective responses during retrieval across levels of closeness and severity, while there is no difference in episodic details. They also highlight the role of closeness and transgression severity in shaping interpersonal motivations.