Between silence and survival: A self-study of teaching in Florida amid LGBTQ+ educational restrictions

This article presents a self-study narrative of my experiences teaching English in a Florida middle school in 2025. Drawing from daily voice-recorded memos, I reflect on the pedagogical and ethical challenges imposed by legislative restrictions, particularly the “Don't Say Gay” bill, hyper-standardization under the Florida BEST standards, and systemic impediments such as low pay and restricted curricular autonomy. Through the methodological frame of self-study and narrative inquiry (Clandinin Kitchen, 2020; Craig, 2020), I interrogate my lived experiences as an educator from New York City teaching within Florida's sociocultural and political landscape. Central to the analysis is a professional development incident where Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 was used as a model text. My reflections illuminate the tensions between LGBTQ + invisibility, rainbow-washing, and the silencing of pedagogical possibilities. I resigned from this position, underscoring the untenability of such teaching conditions and the harm experienced by LGBTQ + students in Florida schools. • Florida policies legislate silence and erase LGBTQ + identities. • Book approval hurdles censor diverse texts and limit pedagogy. • Mandated outing policies betray and endanger queer students. • Low pay and ignored degrees devalue teacher professionalism. • Narrative contrast shows NYC affirms, Florida erases identity.