What Supports Me as Therapist, Coach, Facilitator, Teacher?

The first thing I notice is that I rarely feel alone in my work. Often, I collaborate with a colleague, but even when I am working alone with clients, I feel my supportive tribe close behind me—my peers, supervisors, teachers, therapist, family, and friends. Even the animals, wild creatures, and elements that nourish me seem to be with me somehow. The sea and rivers are particularly powerful supports.The second thing I notice is my tendency to prepare—sometimes anxiously. I find a plan very supportive. Whether I am at my desk or in the shower, I spend a great deal of time thinking about my work beforehand. I can see that this preparation supports me in some ways. And yet, I also know that some of it does not. The tricky part is figuring out which aspects are helpful and which are not.I also notice how much processing I do after client work—alone, in supervision, or with colleagues. This reflective stage is a vital part of my work cycle and deeply supports me. At the same time, I can sometimes overdo it, finding it difficult to let go of an experience and move on.As I write this, I come back into my body. I notice my shoulders have crept up to my earlobes. I pause, take a long inhale and exhale. I remember the yoga class I did last night. I am aware of my dodgy knee, the tension in my neck. Clients have described my presence as “calm,” which makes me laugh quietly to myself. Often, my body feels like a greyhound at the traps—poised to chase something, or perhaps trying to escape.I am a small woman—just over five feet tall. I have been physically overwhelmed or aggressed many times. I know what it is to freeze, to withstand, to succumb. That experience lives in me. I believe it helps me connect with people in distress, even as it sometimes makes it harder to support myself. My awareness of this is supportive.The people I find most supportive in my life are those who are grounded—softly solid, steady presences who tend to worry less than I do. Tears come to my eyes now. What a relief it is to be with people who help me feel safe.