“Caring for me is helping me care less”: A qualitative exploration of parents’ experiences of giving and receiving care

Caregiving is an essential component of family life. However, while much research has explored how parents provide care, limited attention has been given to understanding their experiences in receiving care. Thus, this study investigated how 26 U.S. parents in different-sex relationships (14 mothers, 12 fathers; 61.54% non-Hispanic White, primarily middle class) report experiencing both caregiving and care-receiving, with a focus on potential gendered differences. Three primary themes resulted from reflexive thematic analysis of participant semi-structured interviews: (1) “shared experiences of receiving care: caring for me is helping me care less”, capturing how parents receive care through actions that helped reduce their caregiving burdens; (2) “gendered patterns in receiving care: the romantic husband and the industrious wife”, revealing mothers’ reception of care through romantic gestures and fathers' emphasis on their wives direct care labor; and (3) “gendered patterns in providing care: mother as ‘the nurturer’; father as ‘the helper’” reflecting gendered expectations, with mothers following expectations for motherhood and fathers adopting more assistive caregiving roles. Ultimately, the findings highlight the importance of the role of reducing caregiving responsibilities, as well as the gendered nature of conceptualizations of what needs are required to be addressed, as vital yet often overlooked aspects of receiving care within the family.