Objectives This study aims to explore, from an insider's perspective, the self-esteem restoration and personal growth process of a middle-aged Christian female minister who experienced gender discrimination during her formative years. Methods Using a qualitative research methodology, this study adopted the autoethnographic approach. The researcher utilized personal diaries and memos containing self-reflection and introspection, as well as family interview data. Through these materials, the researcher conducted an in-depth analysis and narrative of her life journey-from birth and upbringing, marriage and family life, to church ministry, experiences at an inner healing ministry, and reflections during her graduate studies in counseling. Results The findings revealed four major themes describing the process of self-esteem recovery and personal growth: “A World That Welcomes No One,” “A Ray of Light That Approached Me,” “A Chrysalis Becoming a Butterfly,” and “The Dream of a Dreaming Butterfly.” The researcher reinterpreted past gender-discriminatory experiences as material for maturity, transforming pain into insight. The process of writing the autoethnography itself served as a tool for self-awareness and expression, thereby promoting self-growth. Furthermore, she experienced a shift from being a “submissive woman” to a “faith-driven woman with a voice,” ultimately integrating her faith and identity. Conclusions This study provides an in-depth examination of how a middle-aged Christian female minister healed wounds caused by gender discrimination, restored self-esteem, and achieved personal growth. The research offers insights into the recovery, self-esteem building, and identity formation processes of women who have experienced gender-based adversity. It highlights the importance of self-reflection and inner healing in shaping a healthy identity for Christian women in ministry and underscores the need for greater awareness and change regarding women's roles within Christian communities.
Kim et al. (Thu,) studied this question.