Mother’s Gaze: Family Photography as a Way to Re-Claim Subjectivity

I am a mother, photographer and photography researcher. In this article I reflect on the practice of photographing my family with a goal of drawing attention to the role of family photography in re-claiming mother's agency as subject. By implementing autoethnographic research strategy I analyse photographs and texts shared on my motherhood blog in 2016–2020. An intensive identity transformation takes place upon becoming a mother, which moves the woman's confidence in herself as a subject with agency. My experience of motherhood was complicated and ambivalent. Yet, whilst photographing my family I create an image of a warm and cosy life. The discrepancy between images and inner experience prompts writing and thereby expanding the meaning of representations through written narrative. By looking for other means to regain subjectivity I review the elements of my photographic experience: the act of photographing, the review of photographs, archiving, sharing on social network in combination with writing. I state that photography allows me to activate my gaze at others and the gaze of others at me, which provides quite a significant sensation of power. The article offers a different perspective on the genre of vernacular family snapshots stressing the therapeutic potential of photography practice.