There is an “I” in “We”: Relatedness Technologies Viewed Through the Lens of the Need for Autonomy

Technologies that emotionally connect over distance have a long tradition in Human-Computer Interaction (HCI). Naturally, the design of such technologies focuses on fulfilling people's need for relatedness, i.e., the feeling of being in regular, intimate contact with people who care about you. What seems to be neglected is the possibly conflicting need for autonomy, i.e., the feeling of being the cause of one's own actions instead of feeling externally controlled. In this essay, we first discuss the potential tension between relatedness and autonomy. We then present five previously published relatedness technologies as examples of how neglecting autonomy might lead to unexpected side effects or the absence of positive effects. We suggest that designing for relatedness should be understood as designing for the ongoing negotiation of relatedness (the "we") and autonomy (the "I"). This negotiation should not be left to people involved alone but should be integral to designing relatedness technologies.