Of Things Said and Unsaid: Silence, Disclosure and Gendered Processes of Meaning-Making in the Aftermath of Atrocity

Abstract As the number of children exposed to war and political violence grows worldwide, the question of how such exposure will shape the life course is increasingly urgent. Drawing on in-depth life history interviews with 79 men and women who experienced the Bosnian war and genocide (1992–1995) as children, we examine how they narrate, interpret, and ascribe meaning to their experiences in adulthood. We highlight how these processes are shaped by gendered family dynamics and cultural discourses that render some wartime experiences speakable and others unspeakable. Our analysis reveals that more than 20 years after the war, gender and trauma remain deeply entwined through culturally patterned norms and communicative practices within families. Gendered narratives and discourses, including the essentialization of war as a masculine domain, continue to frame how individuals understand and express trauma. For women, these discourses help rationalize their exclusion from discussions of the past and prompt the minimization of their own trauma. For men, narratives of heroic masculinity centering on archetypical “brave soldiers” exacerbate feelings of stigma and shame, creating a formidable barrier to help-seeking behavior. These findings underscore the long-term impact of gendered silence and storytelling in shaping both personal and intergenerational understandings of trauma.