The Understanding Heart: Aging Parents and Their Favorite Children

This paper compares the characteristics of adult children who provide comfort and sympathy and serve as confidants to parents with those whom parents perceive as disappointing. Interview information from 117 couples having children who had left home was analyzed using aggregate and intrafamilial strategies. The latter analyses compared the characteristics of the selected child with those of her or his sibs instead of comparing the aggregate of selected children with the aggregate of their siblings. Differences in the findings from the 2 techniques are discussed. The findings confirmed the importance of daughters who live nearby as understanding children. More important than proximity among the factors influencing parental judgments on disappointing and understanding children were intergenerational shared interests and values.