People in romantic relationships sacrifice when they forego their own goals and needs in order to prioritize those of their partner. In doing so, individuals may engage in approach-motivated sacrifices in which they sacrifice to pursue desirable relational end states, or they may engage in avoidance-motivated sacrifices in which they sacrifice to avoid negative outcomes. In this research, we sought to test the notion that motivated sacrifices have consequences for individuals’ self-concepts. Specifically, we hypothesized that people who engaged in approach-motivated sacrifices would report greater self-improvement (i.e., gaining positive or losing negative self-attributes), whereas those who engaged in avoidance-motivated sacrifices would report greater self-degradation (i.e., losing positive or gaining negative self-attributes). Across four studies (total N = 560) utilizing diverse methodology (i.e., cross-sectional, longitudinal, and dyadic), we predicted and found that approach-motivated sacrifice was positively associated with self-improvement and avoidance-motivated sacrifice was positively associated with self-degradation. In turn, self-change had downstream consequences for the relationship, such that self-improvement mediated the association between approach-motivated sacrifice and relationship quality, whereas self-degradation mediated the association between avoidance-motivated sacrifice and relationship quality. These results suggest that individuals’ motivations for sacrificing, which are presumably intended to maintain a relationship, carry the potential to enhance or undermine individuals’ sense of identity and relationship quality.
Mattingly et al. (Fri,) studied this question.