The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

in recent years, the public's general interest in Mormonism resulted in an increase in documentaries, scripted television series, and reality shows. Releases on streaming platforms like Netflix, including Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey and Murder Among the Mormons, prove the pervasiveness of Mormonism in popular culture today.1 Media representation like these shows, one described as a docuseries and the other as a true crime miniseries, have become the primary way non-Mormons learn about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At the same time, this representation, while not always accurate nor supported by LDS Church leaders, encourages discourse around Mormonism and provides an opportunity for viewers interested in the church to learn more. The popularity of Latter-day Saint media inspired other platforms to follow suit. Hulu created its own psychological drama inspired by a nonfiction book about a 1984 double murder in the Salt Lake Valley, Under the Banner of Heaven, and most recently, a reality television show entitled The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.Hulu released The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on September 6, 2024, much to the anticipation of audiences who previously followed the show's stars on social media. The show highlights eight women, all social media influencers, after they were caught in a swinging sex scandal that made international headlines.2 In May 2022, Mormon influencer and mother of two Taylor Frankie Paul released a video on the popular social media platform TikTok telling her millions of followers she was getting divorced after “soft swinging” with a group of friends in Draper, Utah. For Paul and her friends, “soft swinging” referred to intimacy with each other, husbands included, but not going “all the way” unless their spouses were in the room. The influencer claimed to have fallen in love with her friend's husband after breaking the group's rules about going “all the way” in the presence of others. This video went viral and catapulted Paul and her friends to international fame, even those who claimed they were never involved in the scandal.Paul's TikTok account grew by almost two million followers between 2022 and 2024, and she is the main character of the Hulu series. The other seven women are part of what Paul calls “MomTok”—a genre of TikTok content about motherhood, and for some of the women, a space to share their lives, including their connection to the LDS Church. Not all the women in the show are active members of the LDS Church, but they claim Mormon culture in Utah has a direct impact on their daily lives, their understanding of themselves as modern women, and how they choose to present themselves to their online audiences.The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives narrates a story of a group of women whose friend group is being split apart in real time based on their understanding of what it means to be a Mormon woman, and as a result, the conversation continued well beyond this small group of influencers. While news sources highlighted that the LDS Church does not support the series and instead claims the show “stereotypes church members,” the series became extremely popular with Mormons and non-Mormons alike and was renewed for a second season.3 The ongoing debate of whether shows like Secret Lives reflect Mormonism in an accurate light requires the consideration of responsibility for those who create and produce shows within this genre. One may argue that documentaries and media defined as “true,” like the Netflix productions mentioned above, hold a greater responsibility toward accuracy than dramas simply “inspired” by a true story, or a reality television series produced by Hulu that is intended to entertain, rather than educate. Ultimately, presenting Mormonism from multiple perspectives may result in stereotypical representations at times, but also allow for the potential of accurate portrayals that draw interested individuals toward the LDS Church.Throughout the show, the women are deemed “saints” and “sinners” based on their beliefs and behaviors. While some, like Mayci Neeley, argue they are showing the world more contemporary, feminist ways to be a Mormon, others, like Jen Affleck, struggle to come to terms with being the breadwinner in her more traditional family and spending time with women whom her husband believes are a bad influence. While many viewers may have thought they were privy to the private lives of these women through their TikTok content, the Hulu series proved there was much more happening behind the scenes. A strength of the show is the producers’ desire to highlight the difficult decisions women make before sharing content online. For example, the show highlights one of the women deciding whether to accept a brand deal worth thousands of dollars in exchange for promoting a sex toy on her social media account, something deemed taboo in the Mormon religion. These scenes position influencing in direct conflict with the Mormon faith, an accurate reflection of the struggle many Mormon creators face when building their online presence.While the show reflects a movement toward a more liberal version of Mormonism, not all are pleased with the focus of the show and its relation to the LDS Church.4 The show films private arguments between the couples, including discussions of finances, appropriate clothing choices, gambling and addiction, and verbal and physical abuse. As Stephanie McNeal notes, the women on the show are encouraging newly public dialogues among church members, and not all audiences believe these conversations should be shared in such a public forum, let alone for entertainment purposes.5It is quite significant that The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives highlights Mormon women specifically rather than women practicing other religions. The show presents Mormon couples in their everyday environment and, in a way, mainstreams Mormonism, especially framing it as the lived experience of many in the state of Utah. At the same time, however, the show “others” Mormon women by underscoring just how different their daily lives are from non-Mormon women their age. From spotlighting church guidelines regarding required undergarments to the standards that ban the consumption of alcohol, coffee, and tea, the audience of Secret Lives is constantly reminded that no matter how contemporary the women of “MomTok” may seem, they are still a distinct group with contrasting values.The popularity of a reality series like this proves the public's investment in consuming the different types of Mormon influencer content available to them. It also demonstrates the significance of this show as a tool to educate and inform our understanding of Mormonism and popular culture. Scholars and educators may be able to utilize specific parts of the show and the subsequent feedback provided by cultural critics both within and outside the LDS Church to initiate conversations around culture, religion, celebrity, authenticity, and feminism.