Holy Spin Room

You want me to make it lesscomplicatedwant me to smooth the way,and say, that to me, the pathis easy.That I am gay, but mostlyin the blessed sense.But come, face it with me:the pathis rocky,jagged,really it's a vertical climbup a sheer mountain faceand people have fallen.People are bruised.I'm not interested in beingyour example of howto do this right.You want me to say“Isn't it a miracle that I am still attractedto men?”And it is, but not in the way you arethinking.And only for me.Queer people in the churchare not a monolith.The church is the monolithwe are trying to climband are too often falling from.Sometimes we are pushed.Forgive me, ifI am angry.I am just trying to understandthe shape of the miracles I havebeen given.The institution, thebody,I am to live in.I am just taking the tangle of faith,hope, and disappointment—trying to spin it allinto something holy.