This autoethnographic essay chronicles the author’s experiences toilet training his daughter, while also exploring his understandings of masculinity, vulnerability, and fatherhood. In transparently grappling with his growth in each construct, the author considers the current discourse on masculinity and fatherhood. Society often frames fatherhood as a binary with fathers labeled as either an absent provider or a “super dad” who largely eschews dominant gender norms. This essay interrogates these polar images by examining how fathers are navigating changing gender roles and the cultural and structural forces that define them. Through the lens of his own journey, the author critiques parenting resources that reinforce traditional gender roles, examines challenging thinking within himself and his familial network, and emphasizes the significance of shared responsibility between parents. The essay also explores vulnerability and aims to underscore the importance of creating supportive communities of fathers where emotional expression is valued.
Michael Coleman (2026) studied this question.