Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men (review)

Reviewed by: Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men Patrick Dilley Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men Michael Kimmel New York: Harper Collins, 2008, 332 pages, 25. 95 All day long, in every waking sphere of life—at work, in school, at the dinner table—guys feel like they have to be so polite, socially acceptable, respectful, and politically correct. In the fantasy world of Guyland. . . they can re-create what they feel they’ve lost in reality—entitlement, control, unchallenged rule, and the untrammeled right to be gross, offensive, and politically incorrect. (p. 160) Michael Kimmel’s latest book on masculinity, drawing from close to 400 interviews over the past four years as well as others’ recent scholarship and research, describes in evocative detail such experiences of teenage and young adult males. They socialize and live in packs, even after college. They spend their hours drinking, viewing pornography, and playing online video games. These men perceive that they never measure up to their peers, to the ideal of being a man, let alone to their own sense of self. No longer boys, not yet men, they are “guys, ” and they inhabit “new life stage” (p. 26) of development that Kimmel calls “Guyland. ” Guyland comes to fruition in college, where “freedom is equated with a lack of accountability—not having to answer to anyone—and so being irresponsible becomes a way of declaring your freedom and, hence, your adulthood” (p. 109). This circular logic, based on freedom and irresponsibility, is a group mindset, a cultural construct so pervasive that it affects the lives of all men, whether or not they fit within the model of a “guy. ” For those who do fit, their actions, values, communications and ideals are constructed and constrained by what Kimmel refers to as three “cultures” that make up the basis of the “Guy Code. ” The first, the culture of entitlement, is based in part on a sense of “how things used to be” in society. Guys often feel these changes leave men, especially white men, in a lower stage of prestige and reward than their fathers had. The guys consequently feel a diminished sense of self, and thus are forced to engage in continuous activities that demonstrate, test or prove their (and other guys’) manhood; often, this is done through hazing, informal group initiations, sexual activities, and excessive drinking. “Getting drunk beyond consciousness may be a way of proving yourself to your friends, your fraternity brothers, or sorority sisters, of showing your teammates that you’d take one for the team” (p. 105). Degrading others is one way to demonstrate one’s manhood, but physical deeds are more vital. Guyland is inhabited by males who feel inauthentic, both in their presentation of their masculinity and from their inability to express how they really feel. But the second culture, silence, prevents guys from speaking of their feelings. Emotions can only be expressed or absolved by violence, as all other responses to this self-realization are verboten in the mores of Guyland. The silence is fostered by each guy’s fear of his failures in manhood being recognized (and called out) by his peers. This coerces guys not to question the values, actions and ideals of the group, for fear of the peer group turning on the guy. This stoicism is amplified in groups of men, as are the two End Page 249 exceptions to it: anger and pride. Anger, in the code of guys, should fuel opportunities for vengeance. Guys must then foster a culture of protection, to excuse the violence. Usually this is done by identifying the victim as a transgressor of the mores of Guyland—blaming the victim. This aspect of the Guy Code requires males to side with other men (“bros before hos”). Concurrent with protecting, guys are always vigilant for transgressions against the code by other males. One’s own status can be confirmed if one can point out that another male is not really a “guy. ” Young men who are “nerds, geeks, wonks, and dorm rats learn to keep their heads down and avoid drawing attention to themselves if they want to be left alone and not. . .