Significant Others and the Self

We subscribe to the assumption that the self is fundamentally relational—that is, entangled with significant others—such that key elements of the self are experienced in relation to significant others, even when others are not present. In our socialcognitive model of transference, transference occurs when a mental representation of a significant other is activated by cues in a new person that resemble the other. As a result, the self in relation to this significant other is activated, eliciting changes in affect, expectancies, motivations, and behaviors, as well as in the nature of the working self-concept, all reflecting the version of the self one is when with the significant other. Moreover, when people experience a threat to either a significant other relationship or the self in the context of an encounter with a new person who triggers transference, this sets into motion self-regulatory processes, which play out in relations with the new person. Overall, we argue that the evocation of prior experiences with significant others tells us something about the nature of the self, affect, and self-regulation that has implications for both resiliency and vulnerability.