Topics of Marital Conflict in the Everyday Lives of Empty Nest Couples and Their Implications for Conflict Resolution

To improve our understanding of marriage experiences during midlife, diary reports of naturalistic marital conflict were collected from 55 couples who were parents of grown children who had left the home. Communication, chores, and habits were the most frequent sources of disagreements reported by husbands and wives. Hierarchical linear models tested the unique associations between multiple conflict topics and interaction characteristics (length, recurrence, initiator, and importance) and constructive, angry, and depressive resolution strategies. Husbands and wives similarly rated money and habits as recurrent topics and conflicts concerning money and children as holding relatively high levels of current and long-term importance to the relationship. Compared with other topics, husbands and wives consistently perceived conflicts concerning habits and communication as being handled in relatively angry ways (e.g., defensiveness) and marital conflicts about children as eliciting greater depressive conflict (e.g., withdrawal, sadness). Husbands also viewed conflicts concerning relatives and commitment as being handled in relatively depressive ways. The findings explicate substantive sources of midlife marital disagreements and offer future research and clinical directions.