The ballad of the childfree therapist: A heuristic self-study inquiry

Choosing to live as a childfree woman is a life decision that is frequently met with cultural stigma. This heuristic inquiry explored my emotional experience and identity development as a childfree woman and trainee therapist within dominant narratives of womanhood and motherhood. I was the sole participant, engaging with the six phases of heuristic inquiry to guide my process. Using free writing and painting, I composed songs that captured the emotion of my lived experience. Arts-based reflexivity and narrative analysis allowed me to give voice to my personal and professional journey. The creative process helped me connect deeply with my emotions and three central themes emerged: I feel stigma, I feel connected, and I feel empowered. These captured the tension between self-doubt and professional confidence during my psychotherapy training. This was an entirely personal journey, therefore difficult to generalise. However, this inquiry’s findings support using creative methods and self-study to facilitate individual development as a way of exploring professional and personal psychotherapeutic identity.