The Square Root of Four, the Non-standard Standard; A Mathematical Thought Experiment

Disclaimer: The following paper is a satirical thought experiment and not meant to be taken seriously, completed in 21/07/2024 and revised in 15/06/2026. Uploaded for archival purposes.Abstract: The purpose of this paper is to experiment with the standard of the simplified form in mathematics, focusing on the square root of four in particular. By asking why simplification conventions exist, we are able to respectfully ignore them and experiment with the number system itself. The results suggest that anything can be represented as the square root of four and thus simplification exists solely for the purposes of letting others read it. Thus, for the purposes of “gatekeeping” and labeling it “self-explainitory” future papers are able to dodge accountability simply because the proof didn’t fit in the margins.