Beyond I-Statements in Family Communication

The concept of was introduced to family science in 1970, and it is now used widely in family life education, family enrichment, and family therapy. This article introduces a new concept, Westatements, that is similar but slightly different from I-statements. Basic assumptions made with these two concepts are discussed, and theorizing is done about the effects they have in family systems. Several guidelines for using these concepts also are suggested. Thomas Gordon (1970) made an important contribution to family science when he introduced the concept of I-statements. Simple, effective, and helpful, it quickly became a central concept in the field. It is now used extensively in family life education (Klemer & Smith, 1975; Lamana & Reidmann, 1985), in a large number of marriage and family enrichment programs (Albert & Einstein, 1986; Dinkmeyer & McKay, 1984; Popkin, 1983; Zener, 1981) and in family therapy (Guerney, 1977). A number of developments in the field since 1970 (Beutler, Burr, Bahr, & Herrin, 1989; Miller, Wackman, Nunnally, & Miller, 1988) make it possible to extend Gordon's reasoning by adding an additional concept. The new concept is We-statements, and it can improve the ability of families, family life educators, and family therapists to understand family processes and improve the quality of communication. It also is useful for scholars who are writing family texts and developing family life enrichment programs. Before the new idea is introduced it seems helpful to review what I-statements are and some of the advantages they have in family communication.