Feminist Identity in Romantic Relationships: A Relational Dialectics Analysis of E-Mail Discourse as Collaborative Found Poetry

The authors used relational dialectics theory (RDT 2.0) to frame a collaborative autoethnography based on a year of their e-mail exchanges to show how romantic dyads use discourse to conceptualize themselves and their relationships. They used collaborative autoethnography (CAE) as a method to connect feminist inquiry with a critique of traditional interpersonal communication research. The use of found poetry/poetic transcription illustrates the antagonistic discourses of (a) intellect versus embodiment, (b) real-life work versus other worlds, (c) balance versus giving everything, and (d) past relationships versus the present. The RDT analysis demonstrated a conflict between feminist ethics, individual identities, and romantic narratives that contributed to a conflicted relational culture. This autoethnography suggests the utility of this type of text for RDT and the examination of discursive struggles of identity and intimacy crafted jointly in relational discourse.