The role of forgiveness in shifting from “Me” to “We”

The present research was designed to examine the link between forgiveness and cognitive interdependence, the mental state characterized by pluralistic representations of the self-in-relationship (Agnew, Van Lange, Rusbult, & Langston, 1998 Agnew, C. R., Van Lange, P. A. M., Rusbult, C. E. and Langston, C. A. 1998. Cognitive interdependence: Commitment and the mental representation of close relationships. Journal of Social and Psychological Psychology, 74: 939–954. [Google Scholar]). Consistent with hypotheses, results revealed that forgiveness was associated with greater perceived overlap between self and partner in a graphical measure of Inclusion of the Other in the Self scale (IOS; Aron, Aron, Tudor, & Nelson, 1991 Aron, A., Aron, E. N., Tudor, M. and Nelson, G. 1991. Close relationships as including other in the self. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60: 241–253. [Crossref], [Web of Science ®] , [Google Scholar], Study 1), and greater use of first-person plural pronouns (i.e., we, us, our, and ours) in open-ended descriptions of their relationships (Study 2). Forgiveness accounted for cognitive interdependence, while controlling for several variables, including relational commitment and mood. Implications of the present results for relationship functioning and well-being are discussed.