How to write a scientific masterpiece

I've been asked several times to give talks about various aspects of the scientific publishing enterprise, and sometimes to comment specifically on how to write a manuscript that will have maximal impact. While many in my audiences have felt that my presentations are designed for students and trainees, I hope everyone listens, as sometimes even established scientists are prone to making mistakes. I hope here to outline a few pointers that will help your manuscripts skate through the submission and peer review process. Some points may be elementary, but all bear repeating.