Lesbian co‐parenting: On being/being with the invisible (m)other

This paper examines the experience of lesbian mothering and co‐mothering. Using the conceptions of Luce Irigaray, the implications of lesbians bearing and raising children within a patriarchal society are examined, as are the contributions of traditional psychoanalytic theory to the oppression of lesbians and mothers. Additionally, the social and linguistic invisibility of both the passionate and maternal relationships of lesbian co‐mothers is noted. The importance of acknowledging women's unique intrapsychic and relational patterns is underscored as being central to understanding the distinctive challenges lesbians face as they raise children.