Unequal Burdens, Unequal Benefits: Housework, Mental Load, and Gendered Satisfaction in Heterosexual Relationships

Despite growing attention to unequal housework distribution, the cognitive and emotional demands—collectively referred to as mental load—remain underexplored in relationship research. Across two studies, we examined how mental load distribution in heterosexual couples relates to women’s relationship and sexual satisfaction. In Study 1 ( N = 452), women reported greater satisfaction when male partners contributed more to mental load, especially to emotional labor. Mental load was a stronger predictor of satisfaction than physical housework and women’s gender ideology, suggesting that even egalitarian women disproportionately shoulder this often-invisible labor. Study 2 ( N = 156 couples) used dyadic data and found women’s satisfaction increased with shared mental load, while men’s satisfaction was higher when their female partners took on a greater share. These gendered patterns were observed for both relationship and sexual outcomes. Our findings underscore the importance of recognizing mental load as a distinct factor in understanding gender inequality in intimate relationships.