Fighting for autonomy: An autoethnography of PTSD recovery through CrossFit® and self-determination theory

Objectives Grounded in Self-Determination Theory (SDT), this analytic autoethnography explored how participation in a structured 12-week CrossFit® programme shaped my lived experience of recovery from combat-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Specifically, the study examined how autonomy, competence, and relatedness were experienced and progressively reconstructed throughout recovery. Design Single-participant analytic autoethnography informed by narrative inquiry and an interpretivist, constructionist paradigm. Method As both researcher and participant, I documented my experiences throughout a structured 12-week CrossFit® programme using reflective journals, field notes, and autobiographical memory work. Data were analysed through narrative content analysis and holistic-form structural analysis, with interpretation guided by Self-Determination Theory to examine the evolving satisfaction of autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Results The findings are presented through four chronological autoethnographic vignettes illustrating a progressive process of psychological need reconstruction. Initially characterised by psychological need frustration, recovery evolved through increasingly self-determined engagement in CrossFit®, where autonomy was strengthened through self-endorsed participation, competence developed through mastery of both physical and psychological challenges, and relatedness emerged through meaningful social connection within the CrossFit® community. Rather than operating independently, these psychological needs became increasingly interconnected, contributing to improved emotional regulation, identity reconstruction, and sustained engagement throughout recovery. Conclusions This study extends existing applications of Self-Determination Theory by demonstrating how autonomy, competence, and relatedness may be progressively reconstructed throughout recovery from combat-related PTSD. Through integrating analytic autoethnography with SDT, the findings provide a theoretically informed account of how participation in a community-based functional fitness environment may support psychological adaptation and identity reconstruction following trauma. While derived from a single lived experience, the findings offer conceptual insights for researchers and practitioners seeking to develop psychologically informed, trauma-sensitive approaches to exercise and rehabilitation.