Becoming parents in the context of loss

The majority of couples who adopt a child have an antecedent history of infertility. For them, the transition to parenthood takes place in the context of complex losses that derive from their infertility. This paper describes the findings of a research project that set out to explore the emotional experience of infertility on men and women, and its impact on their relationship. It is argued that the couple's capacity to reflect on this experience will be a crucial factor contributing to the quality of relationships formed not only between parent and child but also to the relationship between the parents. The findings are relevant to adoption workers who often have little understanding of the couple's previous experience.