“They Were Strangers Who Loved Me”: Discussions, Narratives, and Rituals During Korean Adoptees’ Initial Reunions with Birth Families

The present study examines Korean adoptees’ initial reunions with their birth families. Using Galvin’s (2006) framework of boundary management, this project examined the discussions, narratives, and rituals that took place during these reunions. In-depth interviews revealed that participants wanted to absolve their birth families of guilt for placing them up for adoption and to know whether they bore any similarities to their birth families. Birth families were reported to apologize, express love for participants, convey gratitude toward adoptive families, and offer advice. Knowing their story of birth and relinquishment was important to most participants, and although birth families were reported to share this information, the narratives were sometimes perceived as incoherent. Participants also reported experiencing rituals, which included extended touch, exchanging gifts, going on outings, learning culture, and performing symbolic family acts. Results from the study suggest that engaging in these internal boundary management strategies contributed to a sense of personal identity—not just family identity—and that the birth family reunion may be a culturally recognized family ritual in South Korea. Scholarly and practical implications are discussed.