A Model for Counseling Couples Who Have Had an Extramarital Affair

For this article, an extramarital affair is defined as any sexual activity outside of the boundaries of a relationship between two persons. Extramarital affairs affect persons who are involved in all types of relationships whether they are married or not, or whether they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Considerable research on extramarital affairs has been conducted over the last four decades. This article reviews studies that focus on the frequency of extramarital affairs among couples, their nature, causes, effects on relationships and treatment. Finally, a solution-oriented model is outlined for working with couples in which at lease one partner has had an affair. It is based on the premise that the more a couple talks about the problem, the worse the problem will become, and getting over the affair is a decision the couple makes to get better.