“It Feels Like Your Life Hinges on Me”: Lived Experience of Being Next of Kin to Someone Who Self-Harms

Through previous research, attention has been drawn to the burden experienced by next of kin to someone struggling with self-harm, yet less attention has been given to how they experience and make sense of the relational and existential complexity of this role in their everyday lives. We asked how next of kin experienced and made sense of caring for a loved one who self-harmed. We conducted in-depth interviews with fourteen next of kin, including parents, partners, and siblings, and analyzed the data through reflexive thematic analysis within an interpretive qualitative framework. Our analysis generated an overarching theme, "It Feels Like Your Life Hinges on Me," supported by three themes: "I Keep Trying to Reach You," concerning efforts to maintain connection; "I Am Constantly Vigilant," concerning uncertainty and fear; and "An Act of Balancing," concerning competing needs and family dynamics. Together, these themes conveyed a profound sense of responsibility in which participants' own well-being felt inseparable from that of their loved one.