Academic development and affective imaginaries in the PhD: Disruption, dialogue and the remaking of scholarly identity

This paper explores how doctoral study reshapes scholarly identity through an affective and relational process of becoming, examining how disruption, dialogue, and reflection influence academic practice. Drawing on a collaborative autoethnography between two humanities scholars who undertook doctoral studies in Australia, we examine how cultural, disciplinary, and institutional contexts shape doctoral experiences and scholarly identity. Guided by Transformative Learning Theory and informed by concepts of emotion, imagination, redescription, and affective imaginaries, we identify three dimensions of transformation: disorienting experiences that challenge assumptions about merit and preparedness; dialogue as a process of meaning making that highlights the social and emotional nature of scholarly identity; and reinterpretation that reshapes writing, teaching, and participation in scholarly spaces. Our findings highlight doctoral learning as an affective and relational process and suggest that universities can better support candidates by acknowledging diverse experiences, making academic expectations explicit, and creating opportunities for reflection, dialogue, and scholarly belonging.