Sex, lies, and memoirs: on writing intimate ethnography, dealing with silence and ethically ambiguous storytelling

This article uses the notion of intimate ethnography to further a discussion on social constructions of family ties, secrets and complex strategies of storytelling. Using the example of a book published about one’s own family history, the author presents several ethical dilemmas where engagement with intimate ethnographies is fraught with pitfalls and can tear apart people, families and individuals; however, it can also give a brief and illuminating holistic experience of mutual horizontal connectedness, human harmony, and communion across time and space. The article argues that the intimacy in this ethnography traces the residues of violence and oppression, but also moments of harmony and happiness to create a holistic, complete, anthropological picture of myself and the world that makes me – with its bright and dark sides.