Dead Inside

This paper describes an intersubjective journey between an analyst and her patient, a woman beset by a lifelong fear that she is actually a robot, not a human being. Alienated from the human world, the woman sustained her sense of self by creating emotional ties to fantasy selfobjects. The patient is saved by these ties and undone by them too. On the one hand, these connections carry her striving for health and stability. On the other, they shield her from what she most longs for—the warmth of a human heart. Interactions between her and her analyst reveal the grip of a powerful unconscious organizing principle: She must cleanse herself of feelings and serve the master. Claiming her place as a human among humans rests on her liberation from this horrifying belief.