Nine years, eight counts

This poem is an autoethnographic poem narrating a nine-year trajectory in Korea, from undergraduate study to the doctorate, and from dancer to scholar in dance, theatre, and performance studies. As the only foreign student in the university's dance department, the author experienced prolonged isolation and exclusion that intensified into self-doubt, before a subsequent move to a theatre-focused program and entry into academic work facilitated a gradual emergence from the shadows of the undergraduate years. Framed by recurring motifs of circle, counts, and light, the poem traverses studio, black-box theatre, library, and corridor to show how linguistic barriers and cultural othering, within arts-based intervention, are embodied and transformed into practices of self-repair and self-care: the body is re-centered, "foreign land" is renamed from within, and exclusion becomes sustainable practice and posture. The work calls on universities and communities to establish accessible support networks, provide culturally responsive arts-based interventions and peer support, and evaluate inclusion by felt belonging rather than numerical indicators, while using poetic narrative to illuminate individual resilience and pathways of self-care under adverse conditions.