Guns, a Dream, Nostalgia, and History

The role of guns in my life is the central issue in this essay. I will discuss how guns may provide a psychic link to personal emotions and a fascination with war. When I was 10 years old in the summer of 1950, I went off to a summer camp located in north-central Wisconsin. I had been there the previous year and, while learning to swim, it became plain to disappointed counselors that I was uncoordinated and utterly lacking in confidence about almost all physical activities. It was decided that my one major activity for this summer would be learning how to shoot a .22 (short) rifle and earning a so-called “pro-marksman medal.” After some disappointments, I managed to do this, and my achievement was dutifully noted at the camp farewell dinner. Yet, while pleased with what I had managed to do, an interest in guns did not take hold of me. For a while, I continued to collect toy soldiers, past, I suppose, the age deemed appropriate for such an activity, but an interest in real guns, much less owning one of them, held no charm.