Rules governing the verbal expression of emotions between married couples

On the basis of a face‐needs model, the present study predicted that the disclosure of some emotions would be valued over others. Data from 20 married couples were used to test the model. The study examined four types of emotions (pleasant, vulnerable, hostile, and regret) and two sources of emotions (one's spouse and others outside the marriage). In particular, it investigated the frequency with which these emotions are reportedly felt, disclosed, and valued, and the frequency with which these emotions are actually disclosed. Face‐honoring, face‐compensating, and face‐neutral emotions were disclosed more frequently and preferred more than face‐threatening disclosures. Comparisons were also made between husbands and wives. Overall husbands and wives did not differ in their actual disclosure of emotions, but wives reported that they disclose more emotions and that they value the disclosure of emotions more than husbands.