Through thick and thin: How friendship and psychological flexibility shape our response to being ostracized

Introduction: Social connections are vital to human wellbeing, yet interactions often entail misunderstandings and disappointments. When ostracized, people react with strong emotional pain. In this experiment, we investigated whether principles derived from psychotherapy and/or the presence of a friend could mitigate negative reflexive and reflective reactions to ostracism induced using the Cyberball experiment. We tested how participants responded emotionally and their downstream behavioral choices, focusing on selfish and prosocial offers in the Dictator Game. Methods: Participants came to the testing session accompanied by a friend (n = 100) or alone (n = 96) and were randomized to receive a brief psychological flexibility micro-intervention or a control task before playing Cyberball with either one confederate (i.e., friend-condition) or two confederates (i.e., stranger-condition). Results: The Cyberball game resulted in an increase in negative and a decrease in positive affect. Participants who received the intervention showed stronger negative affect reactions than participants in the control condition. The presence of a friend did not alter the reflexive emotional reaction. However, the presence of a friend, but not the intervention, led to significantly more prosocial behavior and less selfish behavior. The interaction of friends-condition and intervention reduced reflective “revenge” behavior following ostracism in the Dictator Game. Discussion: The results demonstrate different reflexive and reflective responses. These findings suggest that the strength of having a friend present was stronger than that of the intervention. Implications are discussed in light of evolutionary, social, and clinical theories.